Always Being the Strong One

What happens when being the person everyone relies on becomes part of who you are?

You might be the one people turn to when something goes wrong.

The one who stays calm.
The one who gets things organised.
The one who looks after everyone else.
The one who keeps going, even when things feel difficult.

Perhaps people describe you as strong, capable, dependable or resilient.

And maybe, for a long time, you have been proud of that.

But what happens when you don't feel strong?

What happens when you're exhausted, overwhelmed, sad or simply unsure what to do next?

Sometimes being “the strong one” can make it surprisingly difficult to let anyone see that side of you.

When Your Mind Won’t Switch Off: Understanding Overthinking

Have you ever found yourself going over the same conversation in your head?

Wondering whether you said the wrong thing.
Replaying what someone else said.
Questioning a decision you've already made.
Trying to work out what might happen next.

You might tell yourself that you're simply thinking things through. That if you can just find the right answer, you'll finally feel settled.

But sometimes thinking things through becomes thinking about the same thing over and over again.

And instead of giving you clarity, it leaves you feeling more anxious, uncertain and exhausted.

What is imposter syndrome?

Imposter syndrome describes the experience of doubting your own abilities and feeling like a fraud, despite evidence that you are capable.

You might have qualifications, experience, positive feedback and a long list of things you have achieved, but still feel as though you have somehow managed to convince everyone that you are more capable than you really are.

The difficulty is that success doesn't necessarily make these feelings disappear.

Sometimes, it can actually make them louder.

Saying no sounds simple.

Until you actually have to do it.

You might know that you're allowed to have boundaries. You might even encourage the

people around you to rest, say no and look after themselves.

But when it comes to your own needs, things can feel very different.

Grief doesn't always arrive when you expect it.

You might wake up and, for a few seconds, forget that they've gone.

Then the remembering comes.

Have you ever had a thought pop into your head before you've had time to question it?

“I've completely messed this up.”

“They're probably annoyed with me.”

“I should be doing better.”

“Something is going to go wrong.”

These thoughts can appear so quickly that we barely notice them.

If you've been thinking about counselling but aren't quite sure what to expect, you're not alone.

Taking that first step can feel daunting. You might wonder what you'll be asked, how much you'll need to

talk about, or whether you'll feel comfortable opening up to someone you don't know.

You might not think of yourself as particularly stressed.

You're getting up. Going to work. Looking after everyone. Answering the messages. Getting things done.

You keep going because that's what you do. But perhaps you're also constantly thinking about what's next.